This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize