I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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