Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize