Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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