This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
