ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize