oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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