I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
