i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have post one night stand depression
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