I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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