32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize