you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
