Betty ford says i'm here all night
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
