My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
