he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Boobs speak an international language.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize