he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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