whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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