last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
