We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My penis needs a shock collar
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize