Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize