i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
