Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
