I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
