He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
