oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
