If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He better not be in your backpack
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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