I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
