Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
