Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
NoShamevember. You game?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
