This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
