so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
