We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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