what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
