im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
