the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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