I look better un-naked...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
