I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize