he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
