You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
