I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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