ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
