the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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