Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
