why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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