he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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