So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
