I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
