Plan B is the new Plan A
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
