i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So much rum. So many feels.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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