Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
