just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
