I want to make a zoo with you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize