love makes seman taste better
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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