We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
