i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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