all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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