May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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