you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
