i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
